Curses of Fate
by KissMyAsymptote
Summary: The Gods just pull my little strings and make me dance, and I swear just for kicks they added a disco ball and some strobe lights. [SessKag]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I'd love to use Sesshoumaru for a day… hmmmmmmm pretty hair….

* * *

Many things have happened to me over the years. More things than a normal person would go through, because I, Higurashi Kagome, have been totally screwed by the gods that be. The gods just pull my little strings and make me dance, I swear just for kicks they added a disco ball and some strobe lights. On top of that I happen to be the _worst _dancer you will ever see, running around killing demons kind of ruins your chances to practice dancing and normal girl things like that.

But I digress, I should start my story.

You all may have heard my story up until this point, and the sad part is that where I need to start telling my story I don't even remember. It was completely erased from my memory.

But I had Souta fill me in when I saw him again. It was a little scary hearing it from his mouth, I could tell at once point it had frightened him beyond belief. But I cannot leave this part out, as it explains a little about why I ended up where I did.

It hurts me thinking about what I had done, and that I can't remember what happened.

What Souta gained... I'm not so certain that it was worth it, his eyes… he had lost an innocence about him. I'm still not sure what it is, but… He has these _abilities_.

Needless to say he helped me _see _what I had done. Through his eyes.

When he came to me, he told me he would show me, and pressed his hand against my head, and I saw those damn strobe lights. As those faded, I saw what Souta had seen when he approached the well that morning.

I was slamming my fists down in the dirt, my tears and blood were splattering everywhere.

"Let me through!" The gut wrenching cry, I still can't believe that came from me. The fierce emotions that had emerged from me were unbelievable, as I could feel what Souta was feeling. My powers were flaring as I slammed my fists over and over into the dirt.

"NO! Let me through! Let me through! Let me through!" Each sentence punctuated with one of my fists. Blood was flowing from my delicate hands and yet as I looked through Souta's eyes, I did not seem to care.

"Kagome?" Souta had wandered up to the lip of the well, not touching the pink aura that ascended from the well like a beacon. Souta shook as he wondered what he should do for me. Never before had Souta felt such anguish coming from one person, such desperation. "Kagome what happened? Why can't you go back?" Souta wondered how long I had been like this.

Souta's voice didn't even stir me from my frantic attempt to cross the well's barrier. I had ceased ordering the well to let me through. Instead I had resorted to begging.

"Please don't do this! Let me go back! I need to go back!" My hands did not look like hands anymore, they were horrible, how did I not feel that pain? My poor hands were covered with blood, skin torn in so many places from digging and striking the earth. My miko energy flowed from me like never before, tainting the well's essence with my own desires.

With the amazing miko powers flowing into the well's own magical aura, I had continued begging, "_Please! Let me go to where I'm needed!" _That final unnatural roar that came from me ignited a inconceivable surge of raw power.

Souta had been scared, and had tried to shield his eyes from the bright purple explosion that came bursting out, but he had felt it all the way into his bones. He had known what was happening as he acquired his new gifts., the two magical energies colliding with his own aura and giving him a sight he had never had before. Souta then collapsed to his knees.

Souta _understood. _

The well had given me what I begged for at that moment when I had unintentionally merged my magical energies with the well's own. Yet it hadn't. I was tainted by my selfish desire to go back, and so my aura had tainted the well.

Souta now knew that tainted wishes never went the way they were intended to.

And the last thing Souta showed me from his memory wasn't really shown at all, I felt his eyelids open and saw nothing.

It was because of me… it was all my fault.

Souta had gone blind.

* * *

I'm listening to disco.

I don't know why.


	2. Chapter 2

Well... I'm redoing this chapter... I have found _more_ places where I have neglected to change the story from 3rd person to 1st person.

I'm friggin hopeless.

* * *

You see when I say that fate is cruel? Evil, evil bastard that fate is. But before I run off at a 90 degree angle from my story line, let's turn back, and let me finish my story.

* * *

I opened my eyes to the beautiful pristine land of the feudal era… with a splitting headache.

I groaned loudly and sat up quickly, grabbing for my bows instinctively, because the last thing I remembered was Naraku. I almost stumbled back to the ground, my hands falling into the sharp rocks to keep myself upright. A sharp intake of air was all I showed, as I continued to look frantically for my bows. They were gone. I pushed myself up to stand, slowly calming from my adrenaline rush.

I remembered being pushed into the well by Inuyasha with the full Shikon Jewel, the backs of my legs against the lip of the well as he shoved. That was only minutes before! Was Inuyasha trying to save me? I had seen Naraku's tentacles fixated on Inuyasha's frame as I flew back with the air whipping around me and then the flash of blue. _Did Naraku hit Inuyasha?_

That's where my memory is gone, from the space I was pushed into the well, to the time I woke up, I figured I must have jumped back into the well and passed out. I wondered why I woke up _outside _the well. I chalked it up to the wierdness of the feudal era.

Inuyasha and the others were gone, nothing but chirping birds and glorious sunshine. Did we win? Naraku without the Shikon was not really much of a threat as he normally was, but was still powerful.

I froze… _where was the Shikon no Tama? _

Taking calming breaths while ignoring my headache, I let my energy spread, searching for the Shikon Jewel, my hand moved to where the scar should have been on my side. I did not feel my scar, and boy do I know my own body.

Oh holy _crap!_

I couldn't suppress my sharp gasp that pained my head. It was back _inside_ me.

It wasn't in my belly though, and I wanted to cry at my discovery: It was connected to my _heart_. The jewel was protecting itself from what had happened in the past, a priestess may not protect the jewel with her life if someone's life was in danger. I had proved this when I first came to the feudal era by neglecting the jewel to save a girl in a river. Now, I would protect the jewel from coming into contact with evil entities because now it involved my life. It could not be cut out like last time and survive.

I would have to be killed for someone else to possess the jewel.

I glanced at my unblemished hands, for some reason thinking that there would be something wrong with them, and realized the extra power I felt, the incredible energy… it was the jewel's aid to me for protection. How much power could the jewel aid me? Would it be enough? I shivered at the thought, wanting to burst into tears. Will I even know how to use the power?

Midoriko… was this also her will? Well if so… she's a bitch, okay I know she was powerful and all, and she was probably really nice, but… sheesh this is a bitch. Then I apologized in my head.

My thoughts were cut off by an alarming scream. Jumping up I almost fell back over, holding my head. Oh why can I never catch a break? I dashed into the foliage and straight towards the sound, a few bushes slapping my legs. I figured Inuyasha had to be there!

Coming into a clearing, I saw a female demon fighting against a towering lower class youkai. The girl's youki was powerful but she was injured, probably before this fight had even started. The demoness charged the huge youkai and slashed, landed a good hit but was knocked back by the youkai's giant arm.

I then proceeded to pick up a rock and hurled it at the monster. Then I wanted to slap myself on the forehead, a rock, a _rock_, yeah.. _That _was going to hurt a gigantic youkai.

"Hey! Picking on someone who is injured isn't fair you know!" I shouted. Ugh.. That was the most retarded thing to come out of my mouth. I chastised herself, and wondered why I didn't think of a plan before throwing the damned rock. The huge youkai turned quickly with a growl and started sprinting at me. I bent down quickly and grabbed the little dagger I had hidden in my sock and skillfully threw it at the giant. My years with Inuyasha kicking in. It's metal point flared with pink energy as it struck it's target in the right shoulder. I frowned, because I had been aiming for it's _head._

The energy from the dagger was enough to knock the demon down with a boom, and the demoness ran towards the falling giant to land one explosive kick to it's head. I heard a snap.

I stared at the demoness… the fighting style she had used… seemed familiar. I tried to shake my head to clear the pain once again, it didn't work. Thinking just wasn't going good for me today.

Okay, I focused back on the demoness… I helped her… now what? Not being able to think of anything else to say, I opted for my name, "Hi! I'm Kagome!"

"I'm Kaori." The demoness said wearily, clutching her side. The demoness Kaori kept her eyes on me, she didn't know I wasn't a threat to her.

"Well Kaori, let's get you cleaned and bandaged up." I said, then frowned as I walked over to the giant ogre and pulled my dagger out. "I know there's a spring near here, can you walk?" I wiped the dagger on the grass and replaced it within my sock, trying not to get dizzy.

"I'll be fine." Kaori huffed, then staggered. I rushed the few feet between them and slung one of Kaori's arms over my shoulders, taking on some of her weight. I wondered if all demons were stubborn like this, why couldn't they just accept help once and a while?

"Why are you helping me?" Kaori demanded, still trying to stand on her own. I tried to force the pounding of my head to the back of my mind, the pain was getting so much worse.

"Because you need it, just don't argue with me." I replied as smoothly as I could, trying not to show my hopefully temporary weakness. "If I wanted to hurt you, I would have purified you along with that _thing_." I knew that it was a lie, that I wouldn't be able to purify such a demon by myself, but oh well, what's a little white lie?

Kaori smiled slightly as if knowing I was lying "So you're a Miko."

"Sorta, it's a little complicated." I answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the topic. I was not trained, and besides, Kikyo was the Miko.

"Either you are or you aren't." Kaori stated, and we started to move over the unsteady terrain.

"Have you heard a battle going on in these parts?" I figured a change of subject was in order. I started readjusting Kaori's arm over my shoulders.

"Besides the one I was just in?" Kaori laughed slightly, the young demoness seemingly growing more comfortable around me, figuring I wasn't a threat. "Not for a while I'm guessing, I've been around here for about a week."

I tried hard to hide my horror, but a _week_? Inuyasha could have gotten hurt in that time! Maybe it was because of me having the whole Shikon did something to the well, but at least it was only about a week. I'd just have to go back to see Kaede right after taking care of Karoi.

"You're a wolf demon." I stated recouping from the prior information, and for some reason now just taking in the sight of Kaori's furs. The pounding in my head would not go away, if at all it was getting worse. Trying to force my pain away, I took a glance at Karoi, she had a shapely figure, dark brown hair pulled into a simple ponytail, and the most dazzling green eyes I had ever seen.

"Yeah, from the east, I'm the daughter of the newly instated eastern lord!" Kaori stated proudly.

My thoughts turned to Kouga at the mention of wolf demons. I would just ask Inuyasha when I found him.

"So your father is a taiyoukai?" However I tried, my thoughts were on Inuyasha and the others. I told myself that I would find them shortly and to focus on Kaori.

Kaori nodded enthusiastically.

"What about your mother?" I noticed the almost instant stormy eyes that gazed at the ground.

"She died giving birth to me." She was so quiet I almost didn't hear it.

"I'm sorry…" I said as I noticed that Kaori had a sword strapped to her side, and it looked familiar.

"Why didn't you use your sword? Wouldn't it have been useful?" I asked.

Kaori smirked, "It's pretty much for appearance, my father stole it off of a samurai that he killed. He said he never really needed to use it, it just looked good."

"It looks deadly, but I guess that's the point." I forced a smile through my pain, more silence followed, and I was actually grateful. Me... Not talking... Who would have guessed?

"Where are you from? I've never really seen clothes like _that _before." Kaori wondered after a slight lull in conversation.

"I guess you can say it's far enough away that it would take you a long time before you ever got there." I hazarded.

"You must be from across the seas." Kaori said softly, and I thought she said it almost wistfully too.

I said nothing at that, and we fell into a companionable silence until we reached the spring. My thoughts were just on Inuyasha. What if he was hurt worse than Kaori was? Maybe I shouldn't have helped the young demoness.

I shook my head slightly to rid myself of such thoughts, knowing that I would always help somebody in trouble. Removing Kaori's furs from around her mid-section, I took off one of my long socks and rinsed it out in the water to clean her wound as best I could.

"Here," I handed Kaori the sock. "Put this on your wound and hold it there to stop the bleeding, I'm going to clean your furs."

As I rinsed the furs, I couldn't help thinking that the longer I stayed with Kaori, the feeling that something was _wrong_, terribly wrong, kept increasing. Wouldn't I had seen proof of the fight, even though it had been a week.. The paths that Inuyasha had made with the windscar, the scars on the trees from Sango's giant boomerang... The area just looked so _clean_.

My hands started to shake. Thinking hurt my head even more.

"Are you alright?" Kaori asked gently.

"We have to go soon… so a village very near here." I said quietly, the agonizing pain getting much worse. "Something is not right."

"What do you mean," Kaori paused. "Not right?"

"Here, since I don't have anything to hold the sock in place, we'll have to use your furs." I tried to get off subject, but the feeling was suffocating. I forced herself to hold the sock as steady as I could while Kaori expertly placed her furs back around her mid-section.

"Kagome," Kaori started. "My father always told me to trust miko instincts. What is going on?"

"Then your father must have more faith in me than I do." I said, but my aching mind screaming at me to go back to the village and find Inuyasha.

"Let us go to your village then." Kaori said with finality.

"Us?"

"Yes, you helped me, I help you." Kaori stated simply. "It is the honorable thing to do."

"Do you feel more like walking?"

"I am fine. I get better with each passing minute, I shall be healed by sundown." Kaori waved me off. "Cleaning my wounds seems to have sped up the healing process."

"Let's hop to it then!" I said a little too brightly, not noticing Kaori's confused expression at my words.

"What is this feeling that you have?" Kaori pushed.

I was silent for a while before answering, "Something is just horribly wrong… like, there is a shift, and my body is trying to catch up. I can't really explain it very well."

"Trying to catch up to what?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, and hesitated before telling Kaori what I already knew. Who knows.. Maybe talking about it would help. "To go to my home quickly… I go through a portal."

I glanced at Kaori to see what her expression would hold. Satisfied with what I saw I continued. "Time should flow through both places at the same time," at Kaori's confused expression she thought quickly, "When a minute passes here, a minute passes there… or it's supposed to be." Kaori's confused expression abated.

"When I jumped back into my side of the portal, time skipped here. At least a week has gone by for the minutes I was on my side of the portal." I paused for Kaori to take all that in.

"So… when you went back home a week ago… you were only there for a matter of minutes before coming back here and finding me?" Kaori seemed to be chewing on her words.

"Yes!" I said, carefully stepping over a log. "So I have no clue as to where my friends are, we were in the middle of a battle when I was forced through the portal, I went back through as soon as I could, but there was nobody there."

"Maybe I've seen them?"

"I traveled with a hanyou, a demon slayer, a monk, a young kitsune, and a fire-cat. You wouldn't be able to miss a group like that." I said, losing focus for a second before it receded.

"You're right…"

"But during this battle," I decided to test this ookami knowledge of Kouga. "We also had the assistance of a wolf demon named Kouga."

Kaori stopped walking. "That's not possible."

I turned to Kaori, confused. "Why's that?"

"Are you sure it was Kouga?" Kaori stared intently at Kagome.

"Yes, his name is Kouga, we were in a battle with the hanyou Naraku."

Kaori stared dumbstruck at me as she tried to form words. "Y-You're Kagome?"

"Kaori what's wrong?" I asked as Kaori plopped herself on the ground.

"You are Kagome. _The_ Kagome, that he talks about." Kaori was dumbfounded.

"I didn't know Kouga talked about me _that_ much, it's not a big deal." I blushed.

Kaori jumped up, "Only minutes passed on your side of the portal correct?"

"Yes!" I stamped my foot impatiently, but the action making the pain worse. What was happening to me?

"So you didn't go into hiding!"

"Why would I do that?" I was baffled, completely baffled, and went to rub my temples. Oh it was hurting so much. "Kaori tell me what's going on!" I pressed trying to pull Kaori out of her own revelations.

"I'll take you to him! And he told me my travels would never amount to anything." Kaori was bubbling over with excitement. "My father will eat his words now!"

Dread filled me as something clicked inside my head, the feeling of displacement grew, along with the pain. "Kaori… who is your father?"

Kaori turned her excited bright green eyes on me and said proudly, "Why Lord Kouga of course!"

The pain in my head seemed to explode in a terrifying ache, and she felt the Shikon pulse within my chest to the rhythm of my heart.

Everything went black.

Oh Kami I was drowning! I felt like I was underwater, but there was no up. I couldn't see, couldn't even feel my eyelids to open them. Why couldn't I feel my legs? My arms? Oh boy I was beyond panicking.

I felt a malicious presence within my mind, pushing me back, away from my control. I was confused, but very angry that someone would try to control me. My miko powers rose within my mind and the parasite seemed to shift, so I poured more power out towards the intruder.

Pain shot through what was my mind and I registered that this trespasser was fighting back. When I lessened the amount of power that I called forth, the less pain I felt. So I restrained my purifying energy and the pain stopped, but I felt like I was slipping back, being tossed aside. That shook me to my core and I knew I couldn't lose. I felt another intrusive wave of youki, but it was from a separate source. If I could have cried I would have, there was no way I could fight off two! My state of panic lessened as I realized that the second intruder however was not causing me pain, in fact it served to aggravate the first intruder.

The help was all I needed, pink flowed through my vision, and the pain receded. My head felt ten times lighter than it had been, my equilibrium came back and I realized I was laying on the ground with something heavy holding me. My eyes snapped open.

Sesshoumaru. Was. Staring. At. Me.


	3. I think I'll name this one Chapter 3

Ch 3

No I don't own Inuyasha.

Aww... let's recap.. Sesshoumaru is on top of Kagome, and they have clothes on. Damnit.

* * *

The past experiences left me completely numb as to even consider this situation. Sesshoumaru gazed at me from above with a blank stare. It sent shivers over my already frozen frame. 

Fear did not describe it, unfathomable horror and sheer terror ripped through me like shock waves. Never before had his gaze been completely on _me_. Never before had he been atop of me, one hand trapping both of mine above my head, as he stradled my waist. You know, looking back, this would have been exciting for me had I not been so scared, because Sesshoumaru was just so _hot_.

Sesshoumaru shifted slightly.

I tried to bolt.

Frantically grasping the grass above my head in a futile effort to pull myself away. Bucking my hips, kicking out, doing anything that would get myself away from the god awful demon situated above me.

His face was gone from my sight and my eyes shot open from the pain that shot up from my shoulder. He was _biting _me! _Sesshoumaru _was biting me! I stilled from shock and closed my eyes, expecting him to rip my throat out at any moment.

The killing blow never came. Instead I felt his mouth,fangs,and hot breath on my shoulder, I started to a little too warm for my liking.

Sesshoumaru stopped the pressure on my shoulder, but did not move from his position there. I realized he was just trying to get me to stop without truly hurting me. I laid shock still as I realized what he was doing just then, he was _sniffing _me. Just as I was getting used to the position, well, as used to it as a person having a deadly youkai on top of them can, Sesshoumaru moved back with a decidedly fierce gaze.

"Why are you not dead?" His voice made me want to cry, to scream. I decided he would be very good at torturing.

"Please… let me up…"

"Answer me." His youki building pressure around me, almost suffocating me. I started to feel just a tad bit claustrophobic… and a lot bit angry.

"Why should I be dead?" My eyes flashed up at him in defiance, then I decided to use my head.. You know.. The whole thinking act. What is a good reason that he would think I was dead? I told myself to think just a little bit, Kouga has a daughter! What could that mean? That too much damn time has passed!

My eyes widened and my anger was beginning to fade, but the fear was still there. This was not a demon to mess with.

"How much time has passed since the Shikon no Tama was completed?" I asked softly.

Sesshoumaru gazed intently at me, and deciding that he was satisfied, he answered. "100 years."

'"No…" I whispered quietly, this could not be happening. "I was only gone for a couple minutes."

"Why was a youkai attempting to host your body?"

I was dumbstruck, so that's what it was! But where did that youkai come from? Kaori was the only person with me.. Kaori!

"Where's my friend?" I asked worriedly. "Kouga's daughter!"

There was a strange look that crossed Sesshoumaru's face, but it quickly passed. "The wolf youkai is hiding in the woods."

"Can you get off of me?" I got brave enough to ask. I had so many more questions… but they just didn't want to be asked.

Sesshoumaru moved to let me up, but I just sat up and did not stand.

"You helped save me." It was a statement, it was Sesshoumaru's youki that I had felt... Sesshoumaru did not answer, but it was enough for me that he was listening and not killing me.

I wanted to ask why, but had a feeling that he would not answer. I wanted to ask about Inuyasha, but was too scared of the answer. It was going to be way to easy to get lost in my thoughts now. There were so many questions that I did not want to ask.

"The Shikon no Tama is within you."

I nodded.

"How did Kouga become powerful enough to become a Taiyoukai?" I whispered, but that was the last question I wanted to ask.

"Perhaps you should ask first of what became of my half brother, their stories are entwined."

I shook my head no. I realized I was shaking, I knew then that Inuyasha must be dead.

Sesshoumaru turned to walk away, I watched his hair sway, there was something different, he was walking entirely too slow, almost as if he wanted me to stop him. I also could not afford to let him go, I had to know.

"Wait Sesshoumaru…" I watched him pause, he did not turn around.

I got up and walked to him, and he turned to face me.

"Inuyasha is still alive." His words startled me, and I must have gotten a look of hope and he dashed it down. "However, Inuyasha has gotten on with his years."

"How can that be?" I asked sharply.

"Inuyasha is human, cursed by a powerful priestess."

I looked down at my hands… _human_. That wasn't Inuyasha… he was a hanyou, not a human! He was my beautiful hanyou…

I shook my head… I didn't want to hear about Inuyasha, I wasn't ready. I had to focus on the here and now! I pushed all my depressing thoughts to the back of my head. I glanced at Sesshoumaru.. Who was still here with me… _with me_. Why? Then I felt it.. A taint, in his usually perfect aura, his youki.. Clashing with strands of… what? I wasn't sure. It almost appeared to be strands of hair, thousands upon thousands of strands of hair, why had I not noticed it before… was Sesshoumaru _showing _it to me?

Before I could stop myself, I reached up and grabbed one of these strands, Sesshoumaru froze. I pulled carefully, weaving it out of his aura. As soon as I had it free, it purified in my hands and disappeared.

As I felt Sesshoumaru's strong hand on my own wrist and I realized what I had done, I had just _messed _with Sesshoumaru's youki! What was I thinking? Did I really have a death wish?

I glanced up with wide eyes to see him studying me. Strange, he didn't seem angry, but my wrist was shaking. No, Sesshoumaru's hand was shaking.

"Can you do the same to them all?" His voice was quiet and seemed slightly unsteady. I blinked up at him, meeting his eyes… something was wrong, Sesshoumaru was not supposed to look at me like that, Sesshoumaru wasn't supposed to need anyone. His voice had held a slight touch of desperation, something that spoke volumes to me, and made me wonder of the seriousness of the situation.

"What are those Sesshoumaru?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the horror out of my voice. I guess I didn't do a very good job, because he immediately looked as if he regretted speaking.

He released my wrist and looked away. He did not speak. What could I do? I couldn't just walk away from someone who needed me, but this was not a normal person. This taiyoukai had tried to kill me before on several occasions. If he asked me, I would help him. Would he even ask? His damn pride spelled out that he did not need the assistance of mortals. How bad were those strands, for him to even consider the help of a human. I should just walk away, just forget about him, it would have made things so much easier on me.

But, alas, I had already made up my mind, for I, Higurashi Kagome, was listening to Kool in the Gang sing Get Down On It while dancing underneath those damned disco lights inside my head.

--------

well.. I think I may be going though a disco phase...

God help us all.


	4. FOUR

Ch. 4

Yes there is a bunch of crap crammed into the beginning of this story. yep. great.

* * *

My mind was made up, I would help Sesshoumaru. But I had to do it in a way that would save his pride, you know, make him feel manly… or something like that.

"I owe you for saving my life," I started, and when he said nothing I continued talking as I dug my toe into the dirt. "I don't know what's entangled in your aura, but I don't think it's something good, in fact, I'm pretty sure you want to get rid of it." I removed my toe from the earth and stood there waiting, I hated waiting, especially when it was Sesshoumaru. Even though I was halfway certain that he would not kill me now, because I had a way to help him. Why did he have to be so imposing?

"You wish to repay your debt by lifting this curse." Sesshoumaru seemed to like the way I had phrased my way of helping him. I patted myself on the back.

"Yes." I said confidently, I wondered though how long it would take me to pull those out one by one.

"Do as you wish." Then he moved to sit down next to a tree, leaning his back upon it.

I was dumbstruck when he sat. He wanted me to start now. _Of course _he did, it was a _curse_, of course he wanted it gone as soon as possible. I quickly walked over to where he was sitting and plopped myself down a little less gracefully than he did. I kept a slight distance from him… not really knowing his comfort level. Then I realized that I was probably already in his comfort zone being 10 feet from him!

I focused on the strands intwined in his aura, and began pulling gently.

"You know," I suddenly just deciding that conversation was a must. "I may have to get closer to you than you may be comfortable with." Warning him of that may save my head from getting cut off. Plus I was uncomfortable with being so close to him, if he wasn't so good looking… so intimidating. Ahhh.. Mind in the gutter, mind in the gutter! Must steer clear!

A slight nod of his head was all I received, so of course I wanted to try conversing again.

"What kind of curse is this?" There, that needed more than a yes or no answer. I pulled out a strand.

"It restricts my youki." Well… that was something.

"In what way?" I hoped I wasn't pushing him too far, but maybe it keeps his mind off of me taking these god awful things out.

"In that I am still fatigued from assisting you from that parasite."

I had nothing to say to that as I kept removing those strands, he had used so little youki… no wonder he wanted the curse lifted. I wondered how he could fight like this. It strengthened my resolve.

"Do you still sense Kaori around?" I was curious as to where the little wolf demon had gotten.

"No." Damn, I have to get off of those yes or no questions

"Did you hurt her?" Damn I just asked another yes or no question.

"No." Sheesh.. Can I get him to say anything else?

I paused… maybe he would know… just… "My friends." I blurted before I could stop myself, glad for the umpteenth time to have something else to focus on other than looking at his face. "Do you know what happened to them?" I want to hear Sango and Miroku got married, and had bunches and bunches of babies! I stopped pulling the strands and stared at my hands.. I missed everything, I was too late to help anybody. I felt a pang in my chest, and it seemed to try and intensify, it hurt, I was guilty. Guilty because of the fact I could not do anything about the things that already happened.

"No." Sesshoumaru's strong voice interrupted my thoughts. I am so getting sick of hearing that! I went back to pulling strands.

"Do you ever say anything besides no?" The words escaped my traitorous mouth before I could lock them down tight.

"Yes." He said without missing a beat, I sighed of relief and frustration. Relief from not being killed, and frustration at another freaking one word answer.

"How did Kouga become a taiyoukai?" Quick change of subject, thank you. No killing here today!

"Those answers will wait."

I stopped removing strands. "Why?" I felt slightly hurt.

"He will arrive shortly." Sesshoumaru moved to stand, and I went to follow. Kouga was coming? My heart beat faster, was he still insane for me? I mentally rolled my eyes, I was so full of myself, of course he moved on, I was supposed to be dead.

"Wait," I said as I stumbled to stand. "How long have you known he was coming?"

"Since I told you about my curse." Oh yeah and by the way the sky is blue, that's what he should have been saying.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" Maybe getting angry at a taiyoukai wasn't the smartest thing I could do, but damn it!

"You did not ask." My mouth just dropped, was he playing with me? Seriously now. Was he playing with me?

As I opened my mouth to begin my tirade, Kouga flew into the clearing and swept me up into his arms and spun me around before I could even blink.

I started laughing, and it felt good. Kouga still seemed the same, well, add the daughter in.

"Kouga! I'm fine you can put me down." I felt slightly dizzy from the twirling, then I felt his forehead against mine.

"Kagome," Kouga's voice was husky. "I thought I'd never see you again, it's been so long, you shouldn't be alive…"

He started to pull his head slightly away, his eyes flickering to Sesshoumaru momentarily before coming back to rest on me.

Me, poor me, my hand came up to trace the jagged blue lines that were now present on Kouga's face. They looked exactly like Inuyasha's… when he transformed. I spread my ki out to feel Kouga's youki, it was so much stronger than it used to be, so different. Kouga was huskier… in a good way, shoulders seemed broader, he was just, more muscular.

"How did you get these?" I whispered, once again my head was just swimming. There was too much going on, I was going to break soon, there was just too much to take all at once.

"They… They are a sign of my newly acquired power." Kouga seemed to have chosen his words carefully. It was not lost on me. Kouga kept me close to his body as if I would suddenly disappear.

"How did you gain that power?" Kouga did not answer me, and the tears that I had been pushing back started leaking down my face, there was an ache in my heart. I knew I did not want to hear the answer.

Sesshoumaru's voice cut through the air. "Inuyasha's youkai blood was transferred to the wolf."

"Kagome listen," Kouga started. "I didn't ask for it… But when Inuyasha was cursed, his youki had to go somewhere, and it was me it chose."

I had a feeling that Kouga was giving me the simple version.. But that was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt my tears running down my face in an endless stream, and my hand kept brushing the blue marks on Kouga's face. Inuyasha's marks.

I pushed away suddenly from Kouga with such force that I fell back onto the ground, and I continued to scoot myself back as my eyes went from one taiyoukai to the other. These two were probably the most beautiful and powerful youkai in all of Japan, and I was tied to them both. My mind took in Sesshoumaru's golden eyes and his beautiful silver tresses, then turned to Kouga and his jagged marks. All I could see was Inuyasha, all I wanted to see was Inuyasha. But I could not. Sango, Miroku, Kirara, Shippo, everyone… they were my family, my friends, and they were gone. I was here with Kouga and Sesshoumaru.

"I-I have… I just…" I started to speak, but the sobs started to rise in my throat. I just turned and ran. I had no clue where I was going.. Just away from Kouga and his marks, away from Sesshoumaru and his hair. I would never see Inuyasha like I wanted to, I could not see my friends again.

I weeped for myself, my pain. I cried for my dead friends. I sobbed for my Inuyasha back. I don't know how long I was there, but after a while I started to feel calm, like someone rubbing my back, giving me a drink of water, something like that, just soothing. I must have passed out.

'Kagome' I knew instantly who it was, it was Midoriko.

'Why have you done this to me?' I asked her, wanting to drown in my own misery.

'There will be more troubles, and you will need help.' Was the answer. 'Things are happening for a reason, I am destroying the Shikon no Tama, soul by soul.'

I had a feeling I already knew how she was doing this, 'You are the reason that I was being possessed!'

'I will give you ample time to prepare for the next.' With that, Midoriko was gone.

My eyes snapped open and I focused upon my surroundings once again, finding myself hunched over on the ground.

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!" I shouted at no one and everyone.

"Kagome." My name from his lips. Sesshoumaru's lips.

"She's pushing the youkai out of the jewel." My voice was strangely calm. I wiped the residual tears from my face.

Sesshoumaru did not speak, but he seemed to understand.

"If I don't have help, it will probably kill me." I was shaking. "But if you help me.. Your youki… the curse that's on you…I don't want to do that to you."

"We will remove the jewel."

I shook my head no. "It's connected to my heart."

I noticed Sesshoumaru's eyes widen at this, but I knew it wasn't concern over me, there was something else. I did not want to ask.

"I will take you to my brother."

I was torn, I wanted to see him so badly, but not like that. I wanted to see my striking hanyou, the same hanyou that saved me from countless youkai, a hanyou I could never see again. I did not want to see an old human Inuyasha. I didn't want to see him like that.

"Who cursed you?" I asked as I stood. I could also feel Kouga's aura close by, I still could not believe how powerful Kouga felt.

"Your predecessor."

"Kikyo?" Why would she do that to Sesshoumaru?

As usual Sesshoumaru said nothing. I realized once again that this was very hard on him as I stood up and walked over to him. I pulled another strand out and watched with fascination as it was purified.

"I did not know she had the power to pull off such a curse."

"Especially on a youkai as powerful as you." And from the look on his face I think Sesshoumaru took that as a compliment. I purified another strand.

What I was seeing… I hoped I wasn't right, but I would ask Sesshoumaru at a later time, when I had plenty of time to purify hundreds of strands.

"Kouga I think it's okay for you to come out now." I called over my shoulder and stepped away from Sesshoumaru. I turned back to Sesshoumaru and whispered, "Does he know of your curse?" A slight shake of his head was all the response I needed.

I watched as Kouga ran into sight and clasped my hands. "Come with me." This Kouga was not the same as the Kouga I knew, this Kouga seemed more… mature.

"I can't Kouga, I owe Sesshoumaru a debt for saving my life, I cannot leave him until I have paid it off." I watched Kouga's eyes narrow at Sesshoumaru.

"How is she going to pay this _debt _off?" Kouga's eyes were deadly. Then it occurred to me that he was just a _little _bit more mature.

"That is none of your concern." Sesshoumaru replied, his eyes equally as deadly.

"Hey, please no fighting!" I begged, if it started, I could not stop a fight between two deadly taiyoukai. I had to prevent it.

"I don't want anyone touching you." I mentally rolled my eyes, of course that's the first thing Kouga would think of.

I had to dissipate the situation, so I opened my mouth. "Take me to Inuyasha." I wasn't sure if I really wanted to see him, but the words came out of my mouth.

"I'll carry you." Kouga immediately then swept me off of my feet. I think I squeaked a bit. He turned to Sesshoumaru. "Lead the way."

Sesshoumaru took off without a word, Kouga keeping up easily. I worried over how much youki Sesshoumaru was using, but saw that he seemed to be having no problem. I relaxed into Kouga's embrace. Kouga noticed this and tilted his head down to nudge mine. I couldn't help it, I blushed. It did help somewhat to keep my mind off of where I was going.

We were at the village in no time, and after a little hesitation, Kouga set me upon my feet. I glanced around, of course I expected Kaede to come out and greet me, but I knew that wouldn't happen.

"It figures that Inuyasha would live here." I said quietly as we started to walk into the village. "Wait! You guys are going into the village with me?"

"Of course." Kouga said. Sesshoumaru glanced at me. I knew that it should be entertaining then.

"Well… please don't kill anyone." I frowned when neither one said anything. Sesshoumaru started walking steadily into the village, then Kouga put his hand to the small of my back, I realized I was shaking. Badly. I glanced up at him and knew then that he wasn't doing it to be possessive, he was trying to give me strength. I walked in behind Sesshoumaru.

I heard whispers as we walked, finally I heard something I understood… "Quick! Get Inuyasha!" I froze, my legs would not let me move at the mention of his name. It was almost as if I had forgotten until that point that I was not going to be seeing the hanyou I remembered. There was so much scurrying around, children being rushed by their mothers into their respective huts. I was in a daze with all the hustling about me until I froze, seeing a sight I wanted to see and yet never wanted to see.

I knew it was Inuyasha the moment he walked from a hut to my right. His hair… was still as long as ever, and showed no signs of falling out… strange thing was it was turning back to it's silver color. He appeared to be in his late 50's but still appeared lean and strong. His 6 foot frame showing no sign of aging, except the wrinkles in his face.

His gaze did not move to Sesshoumaru or Kouga, it went straight to me. His eyes went wide with shock before they welled up with unshed tears. He took a tentative step forward.

"Kagome…." My heart shattered into thousands of pieces at my name and I fell to my knees sobbing. Inuyasha ran the yards between us and fell to his knees in front of me and pulled me into his embrace. At that moment, nobody else mattered, nothing else mattered. He was my Inuyasha, and I was his Kagome. The wind whipped up around us and only us it seemed. His warmth surrounded me and I never wanted to let go.

"I'm so sorry… I tried to come back… I'm so sorry… It's all my fault…" I just wanted him to know… The tears kept flowing and he held me tighter. Seeing him like this… he shouldn't be an old man, he was my savior, my lifeline. It made me realize how hard I had fallen for him, how much I took him for granted.

"Kagome… please, I know it can't be your fault," Inuyasha whispered. "You would never do that to me on purpose, I remember Kagome, I _remember! _I shoved you through that well, I wanted you to be safe, you had the Shikon. You should have stayed… it was the only way I could keep you safe."

Inuyasha lifted my head to look into his eyes, they were so wise... When did Inuyasha get so wise? "Kagome listen to me, you must have been brought back for a reason. You are so strong, so brave… I don't want to be the reason you would give up." Inuyasha was crying… he was _really _crying… "It's too late for you and I… I'm an old man… Kagome… I never stopped loving you…" Then he choked up… the sobs racking his body…

I don't know how long we sat there… Inuyasha whispering my name over and over again…

I was home, 100 years too late.

* * *

Awww.. poor Kagome.


	5. YAY ch 5!

Ch 5

I have been busy lately getting my enrollment crap ready for my next semester. I have no money, I don't own Inuyasha, my tuition is too high, and on top of all that, my husband just farted. Fantastic. I hope wherever you are reading this it smells like freakin' roses.

Well... enjoy.

* * *

I woke up to Sesshoumaru's bright golden eyes the next day. I sat up and yawned, feeling like the world had been lifted off my shoulders, but also the feeling of great sadness permeated the air around me. Inuyasha had left. I knew he would be gone, he told me so himself, he would return to the village after I had gone. Our discussion was… at best.. Enlightening. I know he said some things to me to free me, he said his life wasn't so bad. He even had a child right after he was cursed, but the sadness in his eyes at the mention of his little girl's death was almost too much for me to bear. I never asked how she died.

I found out about Sango and Miroku, they had died at an early age from disease, but not before having one child, a boy. If that child ever had children, Inuyasha did not know.

It had helped me try to move on. What Inuyasha told me was right, I needed to be strong for the trials that I was going to go through. I told him I wanted to stay with him, that I didn't care how old he was, but he put that idea down so fast that I didn't even have time to finish the sentence. He was adamant, that he was not going to be alive in this world much longer, he said he was sick, and while he looked healthy, he didn't feel healthy. He didn't want to start a life with me he couldn't finish.

But he had kissed me, it was so tender and loving… and so heartbreaking. The age difference did not even come into play with me, this was still Inuyasha, he was the same man that had saved me countless times. His lips had moved over mine in a slow rhythm, my lips and tongue memorized every contour of his mouth, savored every sensation I could. I wished it would stay that way forever. It had made me start crying again, because it was a good-bye kiss.

He had handed me Tetsusiaga saying that he could no longer protect anybody with it, and that another should be given a chance to protect me with it. I wasn't sure if he was talking about Kouga or Sesshoumaru, but he made me take it nonetheless. It was a horrible parting gift, but I knew that I would never see him again, and I had to make my peace with that. Inuyasha wanted me to move on, so I intended to try… for him.

Kouga startled me out of my thoughts by sitting down next to me as the bed creaked in protest. I glanced up at him with a sorrowful expression that seemed to knock the words out of him. All I could think was, _has it really only been a day_? He took a long intake of air and expelled it, he was really worried about me.

"How is your daughter?" I asked, starting up a conversation, I was really worried about Kaori.

"She should be fine now back with the pack, but she was kind of irritated with me for sending her home." Kouga said with a slight smirk.

"I can see that," I said with a slight smile. "She's stubborn like you."

He saw my smile and pulled me into his embrace, it was so warm and inviting, I needed someone to just to hold me. "Kagome, when you are done paying off your debt… come back with me." He released me slowly and I felt his calloused fingers slowly trail down the sides of my arms, I shivered. Kouga then gave me his most dazzling smile, bowed, then took off out the hut before I could say a word.

I don't know how long I stood there and stared out after Kouga, but soon I shook myself of such dirty thoughts about Kouga's thighs and I slid on the knapsack that the villagers packed with supplies. Then with a heavy heart I hefted up Tetsusiaga, in all it's battered glory, and my bow, and pulled on my quiver of arrows. I tilted my head towards Sesshoumaru. "Is there any place that you would particularly like to go?"

Sesshoumaru nodded, but I didn't miss the quick aversion of his eyes from my face down to Tetsusiaga. Was he going to ask for it? Or just take it? I shoved those thoughts to the side as I followed him down the street, listening to the rocks crunch beneath our feet. For some reason I actually felt proud walking next to him while hearing the whispers of the villagers. I held my head high, for I had the privilege of knowing Sesshoumaru, a feat not many can claim.

My thoughts were lost as we walked out of the village and headed down a worn path, what was the purpose of me being here… removing Sesshoumaru's curse and purifying the jewel… well.. I would have to sit with this taiyoukai for extended periods of time… sheesh, it sounded boring. Maybe Kouga would stop in from time to time… I wished that I could go back and see Inuyasha, but I knew I couldn't.

Despite the emotional upheaval that I just went through, I couldn't help but focus on how comforting Kouga had been. I smiled inwardly, because I knew that even though Kouga was a nice looking male specimen, it would still take me a while for me to fall for him. As a mature female of 21, I felt nothing wrong with admiring the male body, but it was mostly a look but not touch thing.

I stared at Sesshoumaru's figure in front of me, sure he had a missing arm, but I was still pretty sure that if he walked around as bare legged as Kouga did, I would still ogle him. I let out a sharp quick laugh that caused Sesshoumaru's head to turn back towards me. Of course I started blushing, I was the queen of blushing.

"Thighs." I squeaked out my explanation then turned redder as I realized what I said. Why in seven hells did I decide to blurt that out? To see his reaction, was my answer.

Oh boy I think I was in a playful mood. I shouldn't be, but I was, my heart had been torn to shreds, but I would be okay.

He stopped walking and turned his head the rest of the way to stare me in the eye, now _that _was intimidating. I met his eyes in defiance, but ended up just making me feel more embarrassed. His eyebrow raised in a questioning manner.

"Just… never mind." I said quietly. Ugh again! I had to figure out how to talk to this demon without A: him killing me or B: me being bored to death. Either way I was a goner!

Sesshoumaru looked as if he was going to speak but then he turned fully around to face the way we had came, his face narrowed in concentration.

"I smell blood." My head shot up at that and my embarrassment was forgotten, I whirled around and used my ki to search out towards the village, I felt a malevolent presence. We were at least five minutes out, how many people would die before I got back?

I took off running back to the village, only to be grabbed by my wrist.

"Let me go," I said as I twisted my head towards Sesshoumaru. "I have to go save them."

"No," Sesshoumaru said as I tried to pull my hand away. "It is coming this way."

I would have known that if I hadn't been in such a panic to save the village. "It's coming for us…" I whispered.

Sesshoumaru dropped my wrist and pulled Toukijin moving to stand ahead of me. "Do not interfere." He said as he pointed Toukijin at the trees just as the youkai slammed through the trees. Toukijin slammed a blast of destructive energy towards the oni, however the oni took the impact with few scratches.

Something about the aura bothered me when I had first felt it, but now that this monstrosity was before us, tall scaly green thing, I realized this was the same monster that had tried to possess me… the same youkai that was released from the Shikon no Tama…

"Sesshoumaru.." I said as I dropped everything to the ground except my bow and my quiver of arrows. I watched as Sesshoumaru rushed the oni and took a sharp stab towards it's heart and missed. He ignored me and tried to continue an upper swipe towards it's head, sword glinting in the morning sun. An arm came up and before I knew it I had notched an arrow and sent it flying, striking that damned arm that was trying to swat Sesshoumaru like a fly.

It roared back and Sesshoumaru took full advantage to make a another swipe, but his movements were slower than I had remembered, and he struck the oni on his other shoulder. Sesshoumaru leapt back while the oni took off back into the brush. I glance at Sesshoumaru and to my surprise, he did not give chase.

"Sesshoumaru! That's the same youkai that was removed from the Shikon!" I knew, that youkai had to die.

"Miko," Sesshoumaru was breathing hard. "I told you not to interfere."

"Hey," my temper flared. "If it wasn't for me that youkai would have spiked you like some volleyball!" I stopped just to take a breath and was going to berate him on his stupid pride when I noticed that Sesshoumaru wavered. Not a big waver, I'm surprised that I even noticed, but I did. My mouth hung open for a few seconds before I shut it, then opened it again.

I made to move closer to him. "We'll find a comfortable place to rest." Of course, as I said that I didn't expect him to sit where he was, ten yards off the path. I speed walked over to him and sat right in front of him, leaning forward and starting to pull out the threads weaved into his youki. I was starting to get adjusted to having him close to me, just a little, as feeling his hard breathing on my face was strange. I shifted positions to sit beside him to thread them out.

I worked in silence for about half an hour, and soon coming to the startling discovery that while I was just working on the shoulder area, that the more I pulled out, the closer the others were to his clothes. And I was hoping that I wouldn't have to take off said clothes to continue removing the curse. Not that Sesshoumaru wouldn't be nice to look at, but I was sure Sesshoumaru wouldn't want me looking at him. Of _course_, my thoughts went to a naked Sesshoumaru, and when I felt my face heat up, I knew I had to get my mind off of _that_.

So, I had to test my theory, and I held out my left hand. "Sesshoumaru, can you give me your hand?" To my relief he set his hand in mine without a fuss, it felt warm… and smooth. I began to feverishly work at his hand, determined to remove the outer whisps to see the ones beneath, to figure how deep they went. Sesshoumaru must have noticed the change in my pace.

"Is there a problem?" Then I jumped, and made a horrible discovery. See even in my hurry to see underneath the first layer, I was still pulling gently on these strands, almost weaving them out, but when I jumped, I had harshly yanked that strand from his youki. Sesshoumaru jerked and hissed in pain before he could stop it.

"I'm so sorry!" I truly was, would he kill me now? "How bad did I hurt you?"

"I will recover," That did little to make me feel better. Then he repeated his question. "Is there a problem?"

"I'm not sure yet." I sighed, I felt a little tired. "I'll know in about 15 maybe 20 minutes."

"Miko, if you were the one cursed, would you want to know?" I saw where he was going, if I was cursed and there was a potential problem, I would want to know about it sooner rather than later.

"When I was working on your shoulder, I noticed as I got through a certain number of strands… that there were deeper threads, ones that seemed to jump out of your haori and back in.. with no starting point that I could see…" I took a deeper breath for a moment. "It could start on your… skin." Then in my head, 'Which would mean you would have to get naked for me.' I didn't add that in… I think he got the point.

"If it is proven that your assumptions are correct, we will continue any way necessary." I understood loud and clear, he didn't care what it took, he wanted the curse _gone_. That didn't make me feel any better.

So I went back to work, but I was finding it harder and harder to concentrate as I went, but I kept prodding along, knowing that I was getting tired. We hadn't been at this an hour, and yet the act of purifying was wearing me down. Finally I saw what I wanted to see.. Or didn't want to see… either way.

I sighed.

* * *

Not entirely happy with this chapter... oh well. I'll live.


	6. I dubb the Chapter 6!

Yeah.. so you all know, I really don't go over a chapter all that well after I write it. Maybe I should get a beta, I'm not sure. So usually as soon as I get done with it, I post it. With school and all, yeah, it's been a while. Stupid school. I even forgot to turn an assignment in over my online classes because I was working on this finally. It was only worth 10 points, oh well.

Ch 6

"They start on your skin." But by then Sesshoumaru could see it too, for it was his own youki. I leaned back and lowered his beautiful hand. After that revelation, I desperately needed a break. "I need to rest." I heard a low growl, it was my stomach. "And eat it seems." Sesshoumaru flexed his clawed hand.

"My youki is more respondent." He said looking at me, I realized how close we were, and realized a beautiful creature like Sesshoumaru needed his space. I moved back slightly, noting how he was mesmerized by his hand.

"How are you feeling?" I asked gingerly, not really expecting an answer. I was still unsure how to act around Sesshoumaru.

"Thighs." My head shot up at what he said. "What did you mean by that?" Then I instantly turned red. Why me? Why did he even remember that? I got up to head towards my napsack.

I wanted to take a page from the book of Sesshoumaru, but I found I was compelled to answer him. "I-I… I was just thinking of something I should not be thinking about." There. Would he understand that? I sure did hope so. I picked up my cargo and started back towards Sesshoumaru.

"How old are you?" Okay… I guess when he just wants to change a subject, there's no stopping him. My he was being talkative, I should try not to mess that up. Besides, his voice… just so damn mesmerizing.

"Twenty-one." I replied, where was he going with this line of questioning? Was it just that maybe he was getting more comfortable around me? I moved back and sat down across from him and pulled out my bread, I had to eat that before it spoiled. I readjusted myself, there were more rocks here than I thought.

"I assume it is because of the Shikon no Tama that you are alive." His voice finally clicked on the light bulb in my head.

"Ahh.. Not really." I squeaked, then figured I should tell him the same thing I had told Karoi, the story about a portal. Not really when I was from, but enough that he would understand what had happened.

When I was finished with my story Sesshoumaru didn't say anything to that and turned his head away I figured I would try my hand at the questions, after all, I would be spending a bunch of time with him. "Hey," I started slowly. "You know… I just have one request right now." I watched him swivel his head back to me and I pushed ahead. "Can I have your word that you won't kill me?"

Oh. My. God. Did I just see a hint of a smile? Okay, _that _made me nervous.

"I assumed you already knew."

"Knew…?" I waved my hands around. "Okay… please, feel free to continue." I said.

"It is not in my best interests to kill you." He stated and I mentally jumped for joy.

"That's very good to know." I said happily, and he seemed confused, well I'd just let him be then. I took a bite of my bread. I wished I had some butter or.. _Something_.

"Do you want anything to eat?" I asked belatedly, and took another bite as the slight shake of his head.

I fell silent as my thoughts turned from his problem to mine, and finishing off my bread, I wasn't as hungry as I thought. It was because I was edgy. There was a Shikon Youkai running loose. Granted not a very powerful youkai, but the problem I had with that was the fact that it was going to happen again. I assumed that Midoriko expelled the weakest first. Which meant that I was going to have my hands full. I felt a headache start up at that and I put my hands to my face. Boy did I not want to worry about that right now at all, but I still felt slightly responsible for the Shikon youkai tearing up around Japan right now. I could only hope that it would piss off some massive youkai and got itself killed… a girl can hope right?

I pulled my hands from my face and stretched out my arms above my head and yawned, I didn't feel _that _comfortable with Sesshoumaru. Just tired. I wished for some ibuprofen at my growing headache. I didn't usually get headaches, just last time…

Realization hit and I glance up sharply at Sesshoumaru. "I think that it's going to happen again soon." I whispered, slightly anxious. "I mean the whole youkai trying to take over my body thing." I elaborated… mostly.

"Then I suggest you remove more of this curse." He said and I nodded and set out working at as much of a frantic pace as I could on his hand. "How long?" He questioned.

"I don't know…" I shrugged while I was pulling. "Maybe about half an hour?"

He nodded . "Do you know how many youkai are trapped within the Shikon no Tama?"

"No, I don't even have a clue.." I said, feeling slightly worthless, but the pain was quickly overriding anything else. I stopped working on Sesshoumaru's curse and pulled my hands to my head. "Sesshoumaru…" I groaned. "I don't think that we're going to have half an hour."

Sesshoumaru inched closer to me as he took his armor off, I was confused, but I didn't question him as I closed my eyes to the pain. I felt his arm spin me around and when my eyes flew open I found my back against his chest, straddled between his legs while his hand gripped both of mine.

"Wha-What are you doing?" I freaked, adrenaline shooting through my body.

"Did I not mention that you attacked me last time?" His voice came out next to my ear and I shivered despite my pain.

"I'm sorry?" I said as a question and I grinned even though he couldn't see me.

"Hn." His monosyllable answer.

A sharp wave of pain overcame me and I tried to pull my hands up but failed due to Sesshoumaru's hand. "This hurts more than last time." I said between clenched teeth. I was surprised when his right hand clenching both of my wrists pressed against my left shoulder and pushed me back against his chest firmly.

"Relax." He said. Was he trying to comfort me? I did as he asked and relaxed against his chest as much as I could despite the pain. I tried to lengthen my shallow breaths and focus on matching my breathing with his. His chest firm against my back. I wish I could have found it erotic, but I was in so much pain. I took comfort in his presence and let his youki permeate the air around me, I wasn't alone.

Then it felt like before, like I was drowning, no up, down, left, or right. However, this time I knew what to do, I focused my untrained powers on the intruder, who was much more powerful than before. As soon as I felt Sesshoumaru's youki, the tables turned. The intruder did not give up without a fight, I felt like I was burning slowly, and the pain was so intense. I would have cried out if I could, and I felt Sesshoumaru's youki helping me, suffocating the intruder until he fled.

Light came back to my eyes, and I blinked rapidly and realized tears were streaming down my face.

"Are you alright?" Sesshoumaru whispered in my ear again.

"I think so…" I said as I found my breath, I was shaking.

Then the hand holding my wrists went limp and I felt sick when I heard a thump to the side of me. I flipped around and saw Sesshoumaru struggling to right himself by pushing up with his arm. My heart leapt to my throat.

"Oh god-" I reached under his right arm with my left hand and my right around his waist and pulled him up. He was _heavy_. With my help he managed to right himself and I froze when his forehead landed on my left shoulder, his breathing was shallow and fast. He was struggling to stay conscious. His head righted itself and he glared at me. This had to be a stab to his pride.

"Remove yourself." His voice came out strong and sure, despite the way the rest of his body was acting.

"No." His eyes narrowed but I stayed determined. "You helped me, please, let me help you." He didn't say anything, so I took that as a yes. "You need to sleep, and I'm afraid this ground isn't the softest." I said as I glanced pointedly at the rocky ground.

"No matter." He replied

"It matters to me!" My voice was fierce. "You didn't help me for me to just let you sleep like that! I can't do that!" As close as I was I didn't miss the way his eyes drooped, the way his breathing increased to keep him awake. "Just work with me for a second okay?"

I didn't wait for an answer as I wound my way slowly around him, helping him stay propped up. I stopped when I was on my knees behind him, but he did not lean back. I then did what he did to me, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him back towards me. I had to stay on my knees to keep him up, I wouldn't have been able to sitting on my butt. My legs were going to kill me later, but at the moment, I didn't care.

He resisted, of course.

"Sesshoumaru…" My voice was soft and fast. "I know you don't want to, but I promise, no one will find out. I-I.." I couldn't find the right words, but I tried anyway. "I am trying to repay my debt, I will not speak of this to anyone, and if I do…" I gulped. "My life will be in your hands." There… I felt like a blabbering fool.

"Your life is already in my hands." He said as he relaxed in my arms and his weight fell against my body, his head rested on my shoulder. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Arrogant bastard.

I realized that he truly was asleep as I watched his face from the side. He was… gorgeous. I rested my cheek against his head and marveled at how soft his hair was. He didn't have to use so much youki to save me, but he did. It was because he couldn't afford to lose me when I showed that I could remove his curse. It wasn't because he _cared_. Did this show that he could trust me? Or was he just comfortable in the fact that he could kill me when this was all over if I spoke out?

It was probably because he could kill me after this was all over.

What would happen if I got rid of his curse _before _all this mess with the Shikon no Tama was done? I knew he would just leave. My heart felt heavy, of course he would leave. I felt tears come to my eyes and I willed them not fall. I swallowed hard, and the ache spread in my chest. How the hell would I live through this if I didn't have help? That last youkai was too powerful for me to overcome myself. What about the rest of them? I pressed my cheek harder against his hair above his right temple and tightened my arms unconsciously, willing the tears not to fall. Would he help me if I asked?

With Sesshoumaru in my arms, I never felt so alone.

I wanted Miroku to grope Sango… I wanted Shippou to steal food from Inuyasha's plate and then get chased all the while yelling my name out to save him…

A traitorous tear fell down my cheek and I quickly moved my left hand to catch it. I would not start crying here, not when Sesshoumaru needed me to sit still so he could recuperate his youki.

He needed me. Did that make me feel better? Not really. I wanted him to want me to be around, for my _amazing _conversationalist skills and what not. Not because he _had _to keep me around to get rid of a curse. My left arm was brushing the stump of his left arm, and with the mood I was in, I wanted to cry about that too. After all, I was there when it happened, even though it wasn't me.

I tried to shift my legs that were already starting to ache, I wanted to slap myself for offering, but of course, I had thought first about Sesshoumaru and some rocks, now said rocks were digging into _my _knees. I sighed, how long had we been like this? Only fifteen or twenty minutes, great, my legs were gonna give out on me and then I wouldn't be able to do jack squat in the next few days. Great, just great.

I worried over the villiage, even though we were in no shape to go back, I wanted to. Even if I could help a little, but hopefully, the blood Sesshoumaru smelled was from a single human who just happened to be stupid enough to get in the Shikon Youkai's way.

A snap of a twig flung me out of my musings and my head shot up. I heard talking. Just another thing I needed… some people were coming down the path, moving toward the village we had just left. Granted they were humans, but I didn't want anybody to see Sesshoumaru like this. I heard them talking and I knew I needed to wake Sesshoumaru up.

"Sesshoumaru!" I hissed as I pushed myself forward to sit him up more. "Sesshoumaru! There are people coming…" I was rewarded with the opening of his golden eyes. I looked on with apologetic eyes. "Can you get up?"

He nodded and struggled to sit up, so I kept my hands on him as I helped him up, but I could only go so far. I kept glancing back where I knew the humans would come walking out, slightly on ease. I moved around to his front and placed my left arm on his right forearm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He glanced down to his arm my hand was attached to. "You take to many liberties." I yanked my hand back.

"S-Sorry! I was just worried!"

His eyes narrowed. "I do not need your-" He was cut off by a couple of gasps from the trail, but at that moment I didn't care, I knew where he was going with that sentence. I didn't even give the girls a glance.

"Hey." I said angrily, but it did not stir his attention from glaring at the pair of girls. So I did the only thing I could think of, I snapped my fingers no more than 6 inches from his face. "Hey! I'm talking here!"

His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. "Do that again and I will sever your hand." I tried to yank my hand back but his grip was like steel. It just made me angrier.

"Hey! Let me go! You are the worst drama queen I have ever met!" That's when I heard it, the tightening of a bow string.

That's when it happened.

Something flipped the switch in my brain to 'ON'. Everything seemed to slow, yet I was still moving normally. I glanced at Sesshoumaru in horror when I took in our attacker, or rather, Sesshoumaru's attacker. A Miko, why did I not look? He tensed and I looked back to the holy woman. Who let her arrow fly. I watched in amazement as it slowly flew to us, and I felt Sesshoumaru let my arm go.

This was weird.

The arrow was flying true to impale Sesshoumaru. He was fast, but with his strength as it is would he be able to? I reached up and took a hold of it, my eyes wide as I felt it's momentum stop. Was there some sort of spell that I wasn't affected by? Possibly. I turned to look for Sesshoumaru but everything must have sped back up, because he was now holding the miko by the throat. Time sped back up, and sounds rushed to my ears.

"Sesshoumaru! Let her go!" I ran as fast as I could over to where they were standing. Could I even prevent Sesshoumaru from killing her? I would have to try. The girl's face was already red and her eyes were huge and terrified.

At the risk of my own hand, I put it on his arm that held the poor miko by the throat.

"Sesshoumaru, please!" His eyes flickered to me, so I had his attention. "She thought you were attacking me. It's supposed to be her job to protect humans from youkai! It was just a mistake." I noticed her face was gathering a bluish tint, and panic fought to take a hold of me.

Then Sesshoumaru _tossed _her. He didn't _just _drop her, he tossed her several feet away and she landed on her back, coughing and gasping. I wanted to run and help her up, I really did, but I knew Sesshoumaru did not have the strength to stand there and wait for me to make nice with the Miko. So I just watched her as she scooted back away from us.

"There's a village just down that path," I pointed . "Please, your services are needed there. They may have been attacked by an oni." She nodded and with one last look to Sesshoumaru, she ran. I stared after her, I had wanted to tell her to make sure Inuyasha was okay. Something had held me back.

I turned to see Sesshoumaru heading off into the trees.

"Wait!" I called to him as I ran to gather my things.

"We will find more suitable sleeping arrangements." He said when I had finished getting my stuff and I had caught up to him.

"That's fine." I said, not wanting to engage him in further conversation. I had my own thoughts to contend with. Like how did I grab that arrow? Well I know why, because everything was going so _slow_. So then why was everything going so slow? Was it another adaptation from the shikon? I know I couldn't do that before, so it had to be the Shikon no Tama responsible for that. I wondered at the other powers I could have, but I shoved it to the back of my mind. Why had Sesshoumaru not commented on it? Surely he would have noticed, but then again, I didn't notice when he had moved to grab the Miko.

We moved into a grassy field with sparse trees. He wouldn't just sleep on the grass without anything would he? I looked up, I realized with a heavy heart that it wasn't even noon. Would every day be like this? I was just so tired. Maybe I could nap as well, the purifying, the fights, the miko, I was tired. At least I knew a miko was headed to the villiage to help. I knew in my heart the Inuyasha was okay, as I doubted he'd returned to the village by then.

I had set my mind, if those youkai were roaming around and there were more to try and possess me, I needed to rid Sesshoumaru of his curse as fast as I could. Armed with that knowledge, I pushed the doubt that he would leave as soon as the curse was gone to the back of my head, along with the other thoughts I did not want to confront.

Sesshoumaru sat down with a little less grace than I had expected him to have. He leaned his back on a tree and propped one knee up.

"I'll be working on your curse, can you sleep if I do that?" He gazed at me with sharp eyes and I swallowed. He closed his eyes. I took that as a yes.

I waited for him to fall into a deeper sleep before I started. Kikyo had cursed him, _why_? Who cursed Inuyasha? I knew the two curses were related. I just didn't know how. It was too much of a coincidence that the two brother's were cursed at about the same time. I watched as Sesshoumaru's breathing slowed and fought the temptation to touch his face. I had such a strong urge, maybe it was because people always want what they can't have. I could not have Sesshoumaru even if he did want me. I didn't love him, I was still loving and mourning Inuyasha. I would _not _want his brother in that way.

I blushed as I realized how off track my mind had gotten. This ethereal beauty before me, part of me yearned, but at the same time, I was disgusted by that fact. I was not some wanton whore.

I reached for his hand and started my work. I guess I had compromised with myself and was holding his hand up. Even his hand was beautiful, and smooth… and dangerous. The stripes on his wrist attested to that fact. You didn't just see markings like that for no reason, it was nature's way of telling you to back off… or natures way of telling females how powerful they were in order to mate. Just look at the peacock! Bad direction of thoughts…

I wondered what my family was doing, Mom and Souta wouldn't be worried yet… Though after my grandfather's death some 2 odd years ago, my mother had seemed like she wanted me home more, worried that I somehow might leave her too…

I made up my mind.

Tomorrow I would try to get through the well.

I had to, there was _no _choice in my mind. I _had _to.

Just like I have to remember to do my homework before I work on my story. Damnit.

Well..

Peace out Girl Scout.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch.7

Yeah I know it's short. Wrote it in about an hr. Once again, this is pretty raw.

* * *

Well I was ready to go home, see my family. Especially after yesterday, the day from hell.

I had worked hard for the better part of yesterday, taking breaks when I needed. Purifying the strands was automatic, but that did not mean it didn't take energy. I did not talk to Sesshoumaru, he had his eyes closed most of the time. Though I wasn't sure he was really sleeping. I had wanted to talk to him about my home when he woke, but by the time his eyes opened, mine wanted to close. I was exhausted.

I sighed and glanced at my companion, who had been eyeing me since I had awoken but not yet said a thing.

"I need to go home." I said softly, but firmly. "I need supplies… and Tylenol."

"Are you sure this portal of yours will work?" He asked the question that sounded more like a statement if anything.

"Not really." I sighed again, feeling depressed. It was as if the whole world was trying to break me down.

"I will accompany you."

Well if that didn't get my attention, nothing else would. "No!" I took two deep calming breaths. "I mean.. there is things about my home that I would like to keep…" I paused searching for just the right word. "Hidden."

"You fear me going there."

"Well yea! I know that you kill people just for looking at you wrong. Killing where I am from is severely punished with the exception of self defense. Just can't kill someone because your offended." I didn't want to look at him, really I didn't. I couldn't keep myself from staring into his eyes, just to gage his reaction mind you.

I guess he didn't look totally offended, though I couldn't be sure.

"I will only kill in self defense." He said as if it were obvious. Then it clicked, with this curse, why would he waste his precious energy randomly killing people? He wouldn't, it was that simple. But the nagging voice wouldn't go away.

"Trust me you won't have to." I started. "There are no youkai to give you a fair fight, not that you fighting with most youkai would be fair anyway," I complemented quietly. "But killing in self defense only applies to killing someone who is capable and about to kill you. You can't use unnecessary force to incapacitate anyone, it's subject to punishment."

He absorbed my words quickly, but that didn't mean he wasn't upset about it. "So any grievances against my person will go unpunished." I didn't like where this was going.

"I didn't say they go unpunished!" I rushed to say. "Like for example…" I fumbled searching for the right thing to say, boy I was horrible at explaining things. "A Thief! If someone stole something from you, you would kill them right?"

Sesshoumaru just stared. Right.

Well. "Where I'm from, you wouldn't kill them. If you killed them, they would try to punish you. If you didn't kill them, then instead of punishing you, they would punish the thief because he stole." I took a breath. "So while you wouldn't be punishing the thief _yourself_, he would be punished." Why was this so _hard_?

Well I waited. And waited. Did Sesshoumaru really need all this time to think about it? For I all knew, he was thinking about dancing monkeys in pink tights, under strobe lights of course. That would be fun to see, as long as they weren't throwing monkey poo. Wait, it would be acceptable _only _if they were throwing it at Sesshoumaru… because he was taking so long in answering me, the damn bastard.

"I do not wish to engage any humans." He stated.

Wait, does that mean in the language of Sesshoumaru that he won't kill anyone? Or that he just doesn't want to move once we cross the well? Or even that he'll let me go by myself?

"So you're not going?" I could be hopeful.

"I am, I will wait, but I am not patient." Translation, 'We'll go, I'll wait at the well, you do your thing, _fast_, then we'll come back.'

This made me unbelievably nervous, so I just nodded. I gathered my things and since I was in familiar territory near Inuyasha's forest, I started towards the well.

Inuyasha. The name shot a pang through my chest. I glanced towards Sesshoumaru, and I knew now was not the time to mourn. Though I wasn't sure when the right time was. Inuyasha was alive, but he was dead to me. Inuyasha wanted it that way, and even though I understood his reasoning, I didn't like it.

Let's file those thoughts under, 'Later.' Along with Sango, Shippo, Miroku, Kirara, and Kaede.

Later wasn't coming soon enough.

Also, I was getting stressed because I thought the well was closer than this, thank you uncomfortable silence. This sucked.

When we finally reached the well I breathed in relief. Finally! I turned to Sesshoumaru.

"We jump," I said nervously. "Together."

I climbed up on the lip. I was shocked when Sesshoumaru, without warning, grabbed my upper arm and jumped.

Nothing, we landed on dirt. No blue light, no _nothing_.

No!

I collapsed to the dirt floor of the well.

No!

I, for the second time in two days, passed out.

I was in my lucid dream state, I now knew what this was.

"Midoriko!" My pain turned to anger.

"I cannot risk letting loose any youkai in your time."

"I need my family!" I screamed as I was swallowed in total blackness.

* * *

When I woke, it was to a sunny afternoon sun. Pain filled my chest with pangs, I was suffocating. My family… gone. My friends… gone. I couldn't think straight, I just knew I was alone. I sat rocking myself with my arms around my legs, tears silently streaking down my face. I couldn't even cry right, no sound would come out of my mouth. They're all _gone_!

Slowly, my pain turned to anger. I smashed my fist to the ground, pain radiated through my arm, distracting me from the pain in my heart. It felt good. I did it again… I seemed to come somewhat to my senses… I held up my hand, and watched with fascination as I felt the shikon pulse and my hand healed. It pissed me off.

"Kagome." My name from those lips. I turned and glared at Sesshoumaru.

"Midoriko won't let me go home." I said out loud, more for my benefit than for Sesshoumaru's. "This damn jewel does nothing but harm. Why did I have to be drug into everything? I've done nothing wrong in my life, I've always tried to be good, to help people. And what do I get? Nothing. Instead I lose everything. Everything!" My voice had risen with every word, by the time I got to the end of my tirade, I was shouting.

I took a breath to continue. "I-"

"Silence." I glared into his piercing eyes as they narrowed. I swallowed, no matter how angry I was, I could not compete with his stare. "I will be back in two hours. Compose yourself." With that, he was gone. I was alone.

I stared at the place he disappeared from, and the feeling of being alone overcame me. The dam holding back my river of pain broke. I sobbed into my hands, wails of pain excaped from my mouth. Thoughts I had pushed back about Inuyasha, my family, and my friends came rushing forward. Each fighting for a place in the spotlight of my mind. It was too much, so I cried. I cried for everyone, and I cried for myself. I wallowed in my self-pity, bringing it out in the open for me to see. There was so much pain, everything I had known had been ripped away from me. I yearned for a life with no Shikon, no responsibilities, no troubles. I pulled out all my grievances and immersed myself in them one by one, shaking on the ground.

Time had no meaning to me as I lost myself in mourning, and my sobs turned to silent tears as my exhaustion rose, but I did not sleep. Instead my thoughts cleared, the pain subsided to a bearable level, and I rose to my feet.

I still hurt, but I was alive, and I had a purpose. That would have to be enough… for now.

I stared in the direction Sesshoumaru disappeared into the forest. What was with him? He should have told me to remove more of his curse. Told me to suck it up or something, but he didn't. Did he leave to get away from me and my emotional state, or did he leave to give me time. Either way, I was grateful. Looking around I knew he also pulled me from the well instead of leaving me in there.

My thoughts jumped to Jaken and Rin. Those two names attached to Sesshoumaru's let me know that he had lost as well. If Sesshoumaru could do it, then so could I.

* * *

Yeah not much plot in this one.


	8. 8 is dedicated to the Vagina Monologues

I dedicate this chapter to: the "Vagina Monologues."

Read this little interlude before the chapter, unless you're a prude, all females should see the Vagina Monologues.

**_It is NOT porn._**

Seriously, if you have never heard of it, you should type it into google! It's on the theory that if you hear certain words over and over again, the mind becomes numb to them and the words are more accepted. Obviously 'Vagina' is the word that I have been numbed to by watching the Vagina Monologues. It works.

I copied this from Wikipedia:

Every monologue somehow relates to the vagina, be it through sex, love, rape, menstruation, mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm, the variety of names for the vagina, or simply as a physical aspect of the female body. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality. Some monologues include:

-I Was Twelve, My Mother Slapped Me: a chorus describing many young women's and girls' first menstrual period.

-My Angry Vagina, in which a woman humorously rants about injustices wrought against the vagina, such as tampons, douches, and the tools used by OB/GYNs

-My Vagina Was My Village, a monologue compiled from the testimonies of Bosnian women subjected to rape camps.

-The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could, in which a woman recalls memories of traumatic sexual experiences in her childhood and a self-described "positive healing" sexual experience in her adolescent years with an older woman. In the original version, she is 13, but later versions would change her age to 16. This particular skit has sparked numerous controversies and criticisms due to its content (see below).

-The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy, in which a dominatrix for women discusses the intriguing details of her career and her love of giving women pleasure. In several performances it often comes at the end of the play, literally climaxing with a vocal demonstration of a "triple orgasm."

-Because He Liked to Look At It, in which a woman describes how she came to love her vagina because of a sexual experience with a man who was in awe of vaginas.

-I Was There In The Room, a monologue in which Eve Ensler describes the birth of her granddaughter.

Now.. onto the chapter!

* * *

One more thing... you all know I don't really proof read these things. Just checking.

* * *

I felt so much better after my cry fest, and I felt a tad bit braver as well. Sesshoumaru had returned after I had that little heart-to-heart with myself, and I tested my newfound courage. 

"What happened to Jaken and Rin?" I asked slowly, cautiously.

My hackles raised as the dangerous glint appeared in his eyes at my words. So that was off-limits, good to know. I breathed deeply and tried to make nerves of steel. Tried. I was just still so _nervous _around him.

I walked over to him and knelt beside him, trying to act nonchalant as if he didn't bother me. I was also extremely exhausted, but I had to get this curse removed.

"Is there a specific place you need me to work on?" My voice shook, so much for nerves of steel.

"Finish my arm." For some reason, I was no longer offended by his demanding tone. He just always sounded like that.

I nodded, and slowly reached for his arm as he raised it. I placed one hand under his wrist as I checked his hand, I had gotten every last strand yesterday I noted with approval, as much of his arm. I glanced at his face before reaching for his sleeve. He wasn't even looking at me. Fine by me.

I grasped the hem of his sleeve and slowly pushed it upwards, I had done this yesterday, but it somehow felt different today. Probably because I was slightly more exhausted yesterday than I was now. I didn't want to stare at his wrists, but I did, his stripes were so… exotic looking. I was more observant of my surroundings, more observant of him. I forced my eyes away and pushed his sleeve up more, carefully checking to see if I had missed any. I made it to his elbow before I found one I had missed yesterday. I removed it and pushed his sleeve up even further until it bunched and I could not push it any further. There wasn't that much left to purify, they were mostly on his upper arm. I held it in place with my left hand and used my right to purify. I was getting somewhere with this, even though I had spent almost an entire day purifying and I hadn't even gotten one limb completed, it was a good sign. I would get faster with practice.

I glanced up at Sesshoumaru to find his eyes on my hand, insecurity crept up my spine and I remembered I needed a manicure. What a time to be self conscious. I glanced back at my hand then wondered why I had thought I needed one. My hand looked… like it wasn't mine. I stopped and brought my hand up to look at it.

There was nothing wrong with it.

That was the problem.

There were no hang-nails, no calluses, no nothing. My hand was smooth, needing no lotion, the natural wrinkles seemed less prominent.

"My hand doesn't look human." I whispered sadly. How much more of my life was the Shikon going to change?

Sesshoumaru said nothing, so I went back to his arm with tears welling in my eyes. I was shocked when he moved his arm away.

"The time for tears has passed." I glanced at him and he placed his arm back into my hand, I nodded and pushed his sleeve back up with my left hand. Did he just try to comfort me?

"You're right." I said softly and was greeted with more silence. I needed to talk! I didn't even have to talk about anything in particular, just talk! I needed conversation.

"How old are you?" I blurted, not exactly what I wanted to say, but it would do.

He seemed taken aback slightly and he actually answered. "I am close to nine hundred."

My right hand stopped, and my eyes went to his. "Wow… What do you do with all that time?"

"There is no point to this line of talk." He stated, he looked slightly uncomfortable… maybe?

"But that is the point," I said with a little smile. "It is just filler for the silence. It's too quiet."

He was quiet for a few minutes and I thought I was in for some more lovely silence when he answered, "I traveled."

I stopped again to look up at him, but he was looking away from me. "Where?" I asked as I resumed my task.

"To the continent." He stated simply, and I opened my mouth to ask another question but he beat me to it. "Why do you wish to know? Surely there are other pressing topics to discuss."

He was hinting towards the Shikon and the youkai that have been expelled. "What's there to talk about? We'll handle them as they come. In the meantime, I'll be with you." Then I figured I would elaborate, since I didn't want him getting the wrong idea. "Since I will be spending so much time around you, I should be comfortable while I'm doing it." I figured I should just stop talking then.

"You should not be fearful."

"I'm not!" I said nervously and put my foot in my mouth. "Not that you're not intimidating… you could kill me in like, two seconds!" I should really stop talking.

"One."

One? Wait, what? "Huh?" I patted myself on the back for my great response.

"It would take me one second to kill you."

Was he _joking_? "Is that supposed to make me feel more comfortable?"

"No."

Tears threatened to fall again, I didn't think he was joking. Holy hell my life was just so _screwed _up

"It is reasonable to believe that you will once again cross the well once you are no longer needed here." Sesshoumaru said and startled me.

"Why would you say that?" I whispered.

"Midoriko stated that you could not cross because of the dangers of the jewel. Once your tasks are completed here, you may go there."

Well. I'll be damned if Sesshoumaru didn't just lift my spirits.

"You really think so?"

Wow! I even received a nod for that! With my hopes up, I resumed removing the curse at a hurried pace.

"If the jewel is destroyed before you remove my curse, I will not permit you to leave until it is done."

Well.

"I'm more worried about you leaving me when I'm done." Silence was all that greeted my statement. My face fell.

"You are going to leave." My voice flat.

"I made no promises." My heart sank lower into the depths of depression. Self pity tugged at my soul, and it was tempting to fall into it. My mind worked at double speed to formulate some sort of a plan.

"If," I started, emphasizing the word. "That's a big if, I remove your curse first, I will have to go to Kouga for assistance."

"That wolf will want compensation." I looked to Sesshoumaru and knew exactly what he meant. I also knew it was true.

Bubbling out of my bleak thoughts, a chuckle. Maybe I would bed Kouga, a one night stand. Not my best idea, but if it kept Kouga satisfied and me alive… I would do it. "I could go freakin' buck-wild." As if saying it out loud would lift my spirits, like a girl about to go and party, bragging about how much fun she was going to have. You know, get pumped up about it, and to tell you the truth: It worked a little bit.

I noticed Sesshoumaru's glance at me and I blushed. I didn't blush through sex-ed, so why now? I steeled my nerves against the embarrassing topic. How come everything came to sex? Of course I knew the answer: Everyone thought about sex, _everyone_. Even the taiyoukai in front of me, though I've never seen a _hint _that he had.

"You know, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I did pull a one nighter with Kouga." I said confidently, and then proceeded to mutter: "It'd be safer here than where I'm from."

This seemed to spike Sesshoumaru's curiosity. "Why would it be safer to rut a male wolf demon than a human from your own village."

Oh hell, if that didn't open a whole new can of worms.

Could I answer that without going into the world of STD's and HIV? If there was a better answer, my anxious brain couldn't think of anything but the truth.

"Well… ahhh…" Well that's a good start. I swallowed and tried again. "Where I'm from, there's more promiscuity than there is here… in fact, it's generally accepted." Obviously I had not answered his question, his eyes spoke volumes. "I have to give you background information first." This eased his intense gaze… slightly.

"With a rise in promiscuity among my people, there is an increase in diseases that are transmitted by," Shaky breath in. "Sexual acts." Yay! I said it! "I'm not an expert or anything on all the different types of diseases, but some are transferred by skin on skin contact, and some are transferred by blood, fluids, and other… stuff." Oh yeah, I definitely was _very _skilled at this. "So women and men must be very careful and use protection methods to prevent contact with blood and… fluids."

Sesshoumaru looked disgusted, not just a tiny bit disgusted, but downright just-stepped-in-dog-poo disgusted. "I do not wish to know why blood is such an issue among humans, if one does not wish to come into contact with blood, then one should not spill it."

I swear I stared at him for a minute before I comprehended what he had said.

"W-we don't spill blood!" I managed. "You may not see it, but blood is definitely involved!" I sat and closed my eyes and begged him not to ask me how!

"How is that possible?"

Argh! My face flamed red, how was I going to explain this? The truth sounds good. I swallowed… hard. "Well…" Oh lord, could my tongue get any thicker? "When men and women get," I paused, desperately searching for the right word. "Aroused… a large amount of blood flows… to certain areas, and it makes it easier for blood-borne diseases to be transferred from one person to another. See, not every time can a disease be passed, but it's likely."

I was mentally _begging _for a monster to jump out of the Tama. _Anything_, to save me from this discussion. I would not be a good teaching candidate for a sex-ed class.

My face was _still _red. It was now well beyond just informing Sesshoumaru like a teacher would, it felt personal.

"Do you carry these diseases?"

My head shot up. "No!" Well I said that a little too loudly. "I mean, most of the time you have to actually do something with a partner for that to happen… and I… haven't."

Silence. Well did that mean that I got to quit talking? Yay!

"Power flows through your blood."

I blinked… twice.

Then understanding dawned, the power of the shikon flowed through my blood, with every pump of my heart. Blood could be transmitted during… sex.

Great. Just freakin' great.

Wouldn't it be easier for a youkai to just eat me? _Yes_, yes it would.

That didn't keep the emptiness in my heart from growing. What would happen if I decided to settle down? Would it even matter after Midoriko expelled all of the youkai from the jewel?

I knew I had to be very careful, as flashes popped in my head of Mistress Centipede healing her body when the jewel was still in my side.

I could not control the aura of the jewel, so if Mistress Centipede could do that… I shuddered to think of what someone could do when being… intimate with me.

Kouga… for all his displays of loyalty and love, could not resist trying to take power from the jewel, even if he had no intention of hurting me. Kouga would want the power of the Sacred Jewel. Sure, he would achieve the full power of the Sacred Jewel if he absorbed it, but that would mean killing me, which was something Kouga would not do. So he would try to keep me and feed off what power he could receive from me.

My throat was very dry. "So once the youkai are expelled… I won't have to worry about it anymore…"

"That is not certain."

"How?" Will the world just stop trying to kill my spirit?

"I believe that the power of the jewel comes from Midoriko's soul, not the youkai within. The youkai of the jewel assist evil entities to taint the purity of the jewel, thus allowing the user to use the jewel to their selfish wishes."

Wow. Sesshoumaru actually was thinking about this.

"One of two outcomes of expelling all the youkai are possible. The jewel may just disappear and Midoriko's soul will reincarnate, or you will take the figurative place of the youkai that are now within the jewel. No doubt Midoriko will favor you if her soul cannot move on."

"Let me see if I get that… The youkai of the jewel now are the real reason Naraku was able to taint it." He nodded. "So by your theory…" I trailed off as I thought something. "Wait, if the youkai are expelled, why would Midoriko need me to keep the jewel pure? Wouldn't it already be pure and no evil being could touch it right? Why me?" I wanted to fall into a pit of self pity.

"Miko." Sesshoumaru's voice forced my attention. "With a jewel of massive purifying energy, would you not think that any priestess that handles it will do devastation to the youkai race? You are the only miko I have met that has not held ill-will towards youkai."

He was right. "So by your theory," I continued what I was saying earlier. "I would house the jewel within my body, and that I can be used… by others to gain power from a pure shikon jewel they could not otherwise touch?"

Sesshoumaru gave me a nod. "There is the possibility that the jewel will dissipate and your body will house Midoriko's soul."

To me there were holes in his theory, so maybe it was flawed and the jewel would just disappear after Midoriko was finished. This was giving me such a headache.

Wait. A headache?

"Sesshoumaru…" I trailed off.

"I believe one of the Shikon youkai is approaching." His attention turned away from me and I focused on sensing the oncoming youkai. It was the last youkai that had been expelled, it's aura was the same. I briefly wondered what had happened to the first youkai.

"Sesshoumaru," I tried again. "Midoriko has bad timing." My voice was tense.

"Indeed." He said as he drew Toukijin. I reached for my Bow and slid on my quiver of arrows.

I felt the wind caress my face as I stood ready, and my heart started pounding. The pain in my head increased.

My breathing was short and ragged by the time the second Shikon youkai appeared. I barely took notice of the youkai's features as a haze of pain covered my vision, he appeared humanoid.

I fell to my knees, "Sesshoumaru…" I pleaded up to him, this couldn't be happening.

I felt arms go around me. I relaxed, I would be alright.

Wait. Arms?

I shoved away, so much was blurred. "No! Sesshoumaru!"

"I got you Kagome." It was Kouga! His arms tightened around me, what was he doing here? "Are you okay?" His voice was like a beacon for me, I tried to focus.

"Help… youkai is trying to take over.. My mind." I pleaded.

"I won't let anything hurt you. Relax."

"Sesshoumaru…" I blurted out.

"Dog-face can take care of himself, he'll kill that youkai. Just relax."

I collapsed back into Kouga's chest. My hands sought his, I grasped them for comfort.

The youkai was released from inside my heart, and I prepared to fight along side Kouga.

* * *

Oh don't kill me because I threw Kouga back into the mix, he's fun to play with! 


	9. Nine

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

* * *

When I came back to the realm of the conscious, I was still in Kouga's arms, though my hands had untangled from his.

"What exactly is going on here Kagome?" His stern voice broke me from my sleepy haze. I glanced around quickly, I did not find Sesshoumaru, Tetsusiaga, or any of my other supplies.

"Where's Sesshoumaru? Where's my stuff?" I tried to shove my panic back down.

"He's fine, and your stuff is with him." Kouga bit out and narrowed his eyes. "Now, what's going on?" I wanted to back up, so I did. I slid out of his arms but stayed down at his eye level by keeping on my knees.

I'd never seen Kouga like this, he _had _matured. His face held sharp clarity that the old Kouga I knew never had.

"The Shikon no Tama is connected to my heart, and Midoriko is releasing the youkai from the jewel. Sesshoumaru was just fighting with one, and you just helped expel one." My quick and simple explanation, I was tired, exhausted, and slightly pissed. He _had _taken me away without my permission after all.

Kouga's gaze softened, and my slight anger faded away. I just wanted some rest. Some peace and quiet and someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

Kouga reached for me and his voice was hushed. "I can feel your power."

Sesshoumaru's unwanted words decided to push their way to the forefront of my mind… Kouga wanted my power. I jerked away from him, falling back from my knees to my butt, and immediately felt horrible when his face twisted in pain and confusion - it wasn't Kouga's fault that this happened.

"I'm sorry Kouga…" I whispered, quickly thinking of something else to tell him, other than the fact that I didn't trust him around the jewel. I scrambled back onto my knees to reassure him. "It's just that your face… your aura…" I trailed off, and tears threatened to burst out, the pain of it still too fresh. I immediately found myself in Kouga's strong embrace, which I snuggled into gratefully.

"No Kagome, please don't cry! I'm sorry, it's too soon, I know." He pulled away slightly to look me in the eyes. "I just want you to know that I'm going to be here. I can wait… for you." His voice dropped low and husky at the end of his sentence, and I couldn't look away. His aura overwhelmed me, feeling so much like Inuyasha's, I _let _it overwhelm me.

A flicker of Kouga's eyes brought my attention out of my thoughts and back to him. Did he just look at my lips? The realization caused my heart to start thudding in my chest, and I realized that it was hot… _very _hot. I was aware of Kouga, aware of his hands around my shoulders, and aware of his dominating aura. There was a strong, gorgeous male body in front of me, and my hormones decided that they would go crazy, flying though my system at sonic speed and leaving my face completely flushed. I wondered where I should put _my _hands.

He started to lean down towards me before I could make up my mind about placement of my hands. One of his hands curled up from my shoulder, around my neck, and buried itself in my hair. My hands had somehow found it's way to his chest, and I felt his racing heart… he was _nervous_… and for some reason that put me more at ease.

I couldn't move as his face descended towards mine. Though my brain obviously thought my body was completely overreacting to Kouga, part of it seemed to shrug and say, _eh, why not?_ The other half sensibly telling me that Kouga was invariably the rebound guy and to stop this nonsense. However before I could come up with a solution, his lips brushed mine gently, and the war within my body halted and my eyes closed in satisfaction. Kouga was pleased that I wasn't pushing away, because after a moment, he deepened the kiss. I think I whimpered a bit, and his hand left hand found the bare skin of my back. I gasped at the feeling, and then his tongue took advantage of the situation and dove in. I gave a little moan and my traitorous knees decided to withdraw their support.

I thought I must have been dizzy, because I felt as if I were moving. I opened my eyes slightly and then realized that I _was _moving. Kouga was lowering me to the ground. That induced a shot of adrenaline to run through my body and dissipate the fog that had numbed my thought-processes.

"Kouga…" I said as I broke away from his lips, I was shocked at my own voice, because it didn't exactly come out as strong as I wanted. Looking back however, my protests never really sounded strong against Kouga because my body had always reacted to him on _some _level, despite the fact that I never loved him.

With my rapid breathing and my not-quite-so-demanding tone of voice, Kouga must have mistaken my call for him to stop as a breathless moan of his name… which technically that _was _what it sounded like, because not even a second later Kouga had me completely on the ground. He was lavishing my neck with his tongue, had both of his hands on the bare skin of my waist, and… was he growling? Though it sounded more like a purr.

My mind seemed to want it's vacation time right that second, but somehow ended up staying to work. I pushed weakly at his chest.

"Kouga… stop…" I felt a sharp nip on my neck and then more tongue… he had _bit _me! If _that _wasn't a wake up call… "Ow! Kouga!"

He brought his head up and I got a good look at his face, the Inuyasha-like marks on his face had gotten darker, and seemed to have spread. I gasped when I saw him lick his lips… lips that had what looked like a trace amount of blood on them.

My blood!

With the _enlightening _conversation I just had with Sesshoumaru… seeing _my _blood on _his _lips absolutely petrified me.

"Kouga please, you have to stop…" My voice did nothing and his eyes seemed unfocused and hazy. He started to lean back down again. "Kouga please don't!" I pushed on his chest, panic flooding my senses, I tried to squirm out from under him, but his youki swelled. He didn't move any closer to my neck, but he started growling.

Then I felt Sesshoumaru's youki flare, Sesshoumaru was there, _watching._

I pushed even harder against Kouga. "Kouga stop… please… get off of me, you're scaring me…" Somehow the thought of Sesshoumaru seeing me like this gave me a sense of shame, like I had done something wrong. What would he think?

Kouga sat back up over me and his eyes seemed to clear, and then widen in shock. "Kagome…" Then he pushed up and rolled off of me. His youki receded with amazing speed.

I sat up quickly and realized I was shaking, but I couldn't stop…

"Leave." Sesshoumaru's voice sliced through the air.

Kouga was breathing hard, and just looked at me with haunted, apologetic eyes. He completely ignored Sesshoumaru. "Kagome… I hurt you…"

The pain in his voice was too much to bear and I turned my eyes away. "Just give me some time Kouga, before I see you again." I wanted to whoop and jump at how strong my voice sounded.

He nodded his assent, "I'm sorry Kagome." And was quickly gone.

I brought my hand to my neck where he had bitten me, it wasn't serious. It was just enough to scare me into reality. I turned to Sesshoumaru.

"You were right." I told him in a dead voice, and he just stared… the jackass. I sighed again and was glad I had finally stopped shaking. "Kouga can't fully control the youki he has."

That, however, got an immediate reaction.

"His body is not made to withstand the pure youki of my father, just as Inuyasha could not." Sesshoumaru stated almost venomously, and kept his attentive eyes upon me.

Tetsusiaga. That was why Inuyasha needed Tetsusiaga. Did that mean it was meant for Kouga now? To help him?

"My things, where are my things?" I asked, finding myself once again using as little words as I could with him.

He turned and walked away. He was even less talkative than ever, which irked me to no end. I needed company, I needed mindless conversations to fill my time, I needed to get away from _him_. With a sigh, I caught up to him, pulling up alongside. Which still brought a bout of nervousness that I could not fight back. Why? He would not kill me, I knew, so one conclusion fed my brain, I cared what he thought about me.

Great, I cared about what a cold, psychopathic killer thought about me. Just _great_.

, I cared about what a cold, psychopathic killer thought about me. Just . 

"Did you kill the youkai?" I asked quietly, switching my train of thought.

"No. Merely incapacitated him."

Oh. Well. "How far exactly did Kouga take me?" Instantly nervous about bringing Kouga up again, I tried to squish that thought under my metaphorical foot. I imagined a giant spider splattering under my well-timed designer shoe. Gods how I hated spiders, and oh how I wished I had designer shoes.

Designer shoes with a matching outfit.. No.. a low cut dress, six inch heels, and a push up bra.

Going commando. I'd always wanted to try going commando with a short dress. I'd feel so _hot,_ so-

"Too far." Sesshoumaru's words interrupted my daydreaming. Once again, I wondered to myself if I had Attention Deficit Disorder or something along those lines. I couldn't focus, and that was very _bad_, considering what all was going on. I could _die_, Kouga had just _kissed _me, I even had _youkai _coming out of me, and all I could think about was going commando in a short, low-cut dress.

A _red _dress, a blood-red dress…

"What direction are all the youkai going?" I interrupted my own thoughts, thoughts that needed to _go_. Those youkai leaving, maybe… there was a pattern in direction.

"We will be going north." He said as if he'd already thought that. He probably had. Once again, that jackass.

"Sesshoumaru, how?" I fumbled slightly. "I mean, I can't travel and work at the same time… well I guess I could… but it would take longer." He didn't say anything, so I continued blindly. "We could split up days, traveling half the day and then me working on you the other half…" I stopped talking, suddenly feeling very tired. When had the day caught up so fast?

"You will rest when you reach your supplies."

I replied immediately without thinking. "Thank you." Then paused, was he tired too?

"Are you okay?" I asked, clearly concerned. He had fought with the youkai.

He actually seemed to falter a bit, but that could have been my imagination. "I am fine."

We were silent until we reached my pack, mainly because I could think of nothing to say and Sesshoumaru hadn't really started a conversation based on nothing before. As I pulled out some of my meager food rations, I noticed my hands had stopped shaking. Good. Though I didn't even want to think about that part of all the issues I was having with this era. My sex-slash-love life should be on the bottom of my priority list. Though I wasn't sure what should be at the top. Sesshoumaru and his curse, or the Jewel and the youkai inside.

How many had been released? Three?

How many were left? Not many.

After this was all over, where did that leave me? Nowhere.

I would have absolutely nothing. The well didn't work, my family was out of my reach. Inuyasha was gone to me. Sango and Miroku were gone. Shippou…

Shippou!

"Sesshoumaru!" I turned to him quickly, not caring that I had just taken a bite of food when I had my epiphany. I swallowed. "Would you happen to know what happened to the little kitsune that I traveled with?"

"No." Sesshoumaru said, and my thoughts shot to an all new low.

I took another bite as tears threatened to fall _again_. I didn't want to fight the tears, but I was afraid of Sesshoumaru and what he might say. I knew I was in a funk, but I couldn't shake myself of it. Depression was hovering about me like a vulture, waiting for just the right moment to strike. Knowing it and preventing it were two totally separate things.

I liked it better when I was thinking about going commando, because then it was as if my mind was preventing me from thinking about certain things. Well it wasn't doing it's job now. The knowledge that I had lost everything I held dear clutched my heart and wouldn't let go.

What happened? After I had bawled like a baby at the well I had felt great. Like I could conquer anything. I didn't feel that way anymore. I felt weak, abandoned, and lonely. I had a purpose, sure, but I was sick and tired of playing the 'let's ruin Kagome's life' game.

I had to come to terms with everything. I had to do something… but what?

My eyes grew heavy. Maybe thinking should be reserved for later, my body wasn't cooperating. The day caught me in one fell swoop. I was exhausted.

I maneuvered my hopefully temporary bedding without a word to Sesshoumaru. He didn't seem to care from his position against a tree, all the better. I wouldn't be able to find the energy for an argument.

As I curled up to sleep, I knew, that if Shippou was still alive. I would find him. That I would make my true purpose here, to find my Shippou.

* * *

**A/N Yay for whirlwind emotions! Now I know it's been a while, but my other story 'What am I?' has over twice the popularity as this one. So this story comes second. Never knew so many people loved MirokuKagome stories so much. Alternate pairings are so fun!**

**As always, two kids, a husband, and college get in the way of writing a story. They also make it hard to go back over a chapter once it's written. **

**Peace out Girl Scout.**


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